THERE'S A PIECE OF ME IN EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 07:43:48 GMT

i am feeling very undermined, unappreciated, and unfortunate today.
i seem to have a problem with going above and beyond for people,
and in return i get shit on as a thank you, or at least thats how it feels.

either tomorrow or monday i believe i find out whats wrong with my stomach since my ct scan and ultrasounds will be in, and i have the worst feeling ever that i'm going to have cancer or crohn's disease or something fucking ridiculous because knowing me and the way my life seems to pan out it's quite the possibility now isnt it.

i have 30 dollars in then bank, 140 in savings, i am not eligable for unemployment and i can't find a job nor can my parents support me. i'm starting to give up on life and i think that my spirit is officially shattered.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:38:22 GMT

i'm in vegas until...?
i'm really loathing new years because i'm going to be here and james is going to jackson hole, WY more than likely and that makes me sad because i would like to spend new years with my boyfriend but what can you do. I don't want to be here til the 5th. i don't want to be here til the 10th. I dont know when i'm going back to reno but i definately don't want to be here for that long even though i don't even have anything to go back to til then.

I wish i had more friends, but at the same time i don't because everyone is so fake and stupid that i just end up dropping them like they're hot anyway and then people go around badmouthing me saying i'm flakey, which i'm not, i just hate people.

I hate it when exes or ex-flings randomly talk to me and are like 'oh so you have a boyfriend now huh?'. uuuuhh... am i not supposed to have a boyfriend? are you jealous or something? what does it matter? and then i start wondering what it'd be like to be with that person and i hate that feeling because there's nobody i'd rather be with than james, but then i question whether or not i'd still feel that way if i had a more functional relationship with that person and it irritates me.

i need a job, i'm more broke than a joke and that's sad.

i feel irate.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 03:40:54 GMT

so...
something is wrong with my stomach, and i've been to two different doctors and they can't tell me whats wrong, it's really frustrating.i fall asleep at like 9.30, i wake up at like 6 with crazy nausea. it's sad. i'm fatigued all the time so i don't even have the strength to go out and do normal college kid things like get trashed. kind of sucks. i'm going to a specialist in vegas when i visit for christmas.

atleast i have the most amazing boyfriend ever. i couldn't even ask for more.

semesters almost ooovverrr!!

next semester might be busy, but not half as busy as the following ones.
i have a genetics class, animal physiology class, a physics class and the spanish class i dropped this semester plus a conversation class. busy busy busy. i have a sweet schedule though. i still need a job aaaandddd thats about it!

my little gentleman.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:54:34 GMT

i can confidently and whole-heartedly say that i have found my other half.

i have never felt this comfortable and open and accepted and loved by anyone in my life other than beau.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:19:07 GMT

i need more friends. or friends that actually want to hang out with me. all i do is go to school and spend the rest of my time with james.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:11:51 GMT

SO STRESSED OUT!

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:09:47 GMT

i'm pretty really happy right about now.
i think i did good this time.
i dropped my first class ever. haha.
i knew i should have done it after the first class because i didnt understand my professor but, oh well, you live and you learn.
i hope to be having a job super soon and i'm almost done being sick so thats good.
things are super good. i am really happy.

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:57:24 GMT

i really just need to get my life in order right now.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:54:30 GMT

i'm an alcoholic.
ive been drunk all week long and havent had a hang over... until today.
fuck. me.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 09:27:35 GMT

there are only two things in life that i'd give anything up for:
1. to bring beau back.
2. for someone to love me whole-heartedly and unconditionally.

my heart breaks a little bit more each and every day.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:41:36 GMT

what's new

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 09:20:18 GMT

i'm not a player, i just crush a lot.
or, more so than i ever have before.
or i've just gotten better at finding boys that i fancy,
either way, since josh ross, i've just been getting at one after another after another.

atleast i'm not bored anymore. :)

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:32:01 GMT

uhhh ooohhh...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:59:18 GMT

sad news. i didnt realize how much time was flying and one of my percocet prescriptions expired. so thats 30 less percs to sell :/. oh well. i still have like 80 something since the operation so im selling like 50 and sitting on that.

i found a place to live. im living in bobby's old room with james and brian and some other boy. they're fun and i get my own bathroom and the comfort of knowing im living with boys and not by myself. i dont think im ready to live i a one room apartment, especially as a girl in reno.

urggggggg. i'm mad at micah. really mad.

boys are always a disappointment. i'm done working for the summer.. time to enjoy my 6 day vacation before i have to live in reality again.......

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:10:14 GMT

=/ i'm really starting to like someone and we spend so much time together and it breaks my heart when he tries to make advances because there's no point in even trying since he lives here and i'm going back to reno in a couple of weeks.. i don't think i want to do a long distance relationship.......

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:36:00 GMT

so its almost august. i don't have a place to live in reno. i still have no money. i have no future job. and no control over my life.

....annnndd break!

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 21:03:54 GMT

someone's lung was collapsed yesterday and had to spend 20+hrs in the hopsital. haaaaay.

i'm tired of god's petty games, if he wants me to die already, he might as well just do it because all of these near death experiences are getting really old.

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:58:27 GMT

... only to say that he wants to fuck me.

wow.

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:05:02 GMT

alan really would text me when i'm dying and i can't breathe because i had my lungs collapsed today for surgery.

and i have no pain killers.

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:18:50 GMT

i for sure shed a tear when dumbledore died.
today's just going to be one of those days, took the day off of work and it's either going to be a really 'fuck you' kind of day or 'fuck it(and make it rain)' kind of a day.

i'm really starting to get annoyed by bryan and his constant stalking/annoying me. for real this time.

i'm just going to lay low for the last little bit while im here, maybe see some old friends, nothing too wild. i think.

happy birthday douchefag, enjoy your liver for the next few months before it starts to fail.

ssshhaammooonnnuhhh.

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:55:01 GMT

oh my goodness i love the great debate. this is by far one of the best shows ever made. ever.

yesterday was one of the worst days ever. not only did i wake up with my constant stomach pains but i also woke up to very unfortunate stomach cramps. i remember now why i shouldnt have stopped taking birthcontrol. and i had to fast because i had to do the bloodwork for whatevers wrong with me, and sitting in quest for an hour to have to drink this stuff to test if i have stomach bacterial infection or something by doing a breath test and it really made my stomach hurt and it was empty and cramping and horrid. god.

my mom had a massive freakout on me and brittany last night, which is so fucked up because i cleaned my whole room and everything yesterday adn she stil is a dick.

i love boy george. and this simple plan song. come on, you know you did too.and pierre? what a fucking hotass.

ive been single for a year now. lets recap on the failure that has been a year:
alan and i broke up probably a few days ago, this time last year. uuuuhhh... i rebounded on creeptastic bryan in a week or something.. a month from now alan and i will hook up again and have an epic fight. i'll be single and miserable for the rest of summer. get up to reno. the like week mistake of me cuddling with meithe twice and him kissing me and now i'm known as 'miethe's mina' wtf is that joke. missed alan. started liking someone, failed. single single single, bryan started buggin' again. cole happened when i was in vegas. more bryan and cole at the same time. almost a relationship with douche bag, good that didnt happen, more cole, more bryan, then around feb came my huge mistake, hahah. uuuh. nothing happened.. mistakex2 in may and uhm.. now im in vegas, relationshipless, my three favorite people here fight over me and get jealous when im nicer to one, so i cant date any of the three because it'll just be wrong and they already act like they're five. all the boys that im friends with treat me like a princess but i dont have one as a boyfriend. my best friend is married. all my other friends are in relationships. im the single one, can't find a decent boyfriend. i have a stalker who won't leave me alone now. people tell me all the time what a douchebag my ex is and i dont really care nor want to hear it aaannddd i'm a bit lonely. what a failed year in the love sector of my life. hahha.

i love brittany exhoe-sner now olar. she just texted me 'i want to watch cats with you dawson'. when i was just thinking to myself that i NEED to see catz. wow. wow. bestfriends.

life's crazy. shits just wack. crazy. oh boy.

i wanna play some nazi zombies. lets see what boobear micah is up to.

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:19:52 GMT

went to the doctor yesterday. they don't know. what's new.
it could be a) a parasite, b) gastroenteritis c) they're going to pass me along to a specialist.

raaaaaaad. the nurse asked me like 3 TIMES 'are you SUUURREEE you're not pregnant' BITCH IM SURE, FUCK. i'm tired of all of this morning sickness bullshit shut the fuck up i'm not carrying a baby.

i'm rootin' for the parasite. that'd be cool. tapeworms and shit.

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:23:45 GMT

oh hey.
everyday for the past three weeks (except for when i was in reno.. well the first day)
i've been waking up, throwing up, and shaking. i feel so sick. i thought it would pass in time, i thought if i drank more water and took vitamins it would pass but its not.

and today i feel the worst. good thing i didnt go out with the boys last night or i'd be dead right now.

i'm going to umc quick care after work.

more when i get home, before i cry and i'm late for work.

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:59:41 GMT

i hate my family and living at home.
kill.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:26:07 GMT

i suddenly got really tired and really cranky.
this is the reason i want a boyfriend. so when i get tired and cranky and dont want to go out and get shmammered on a friday night, someone will come and cuddle and watch movies with me because its lame doing it alone.